[露中 Fanfic] Taming the Polar Bear - Chapters 9 to 12

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Main Pairing: Rochu (Ivan x Yao) | Genre: School, Romance, Humour, Drama | Rating: PG-13

Characters: Rochu-centric with many side pairings, supporting characters and cameos from other nations

Synopsis: In Hetalia Gakuen, Ivan, a notorious school bully, meets & falls in love with Yao, a student councilor who resolves to tame him of his bullying ways. Hilarity, chaos & fluff ensue as Yao braves Ivan's romantic but perverted pursuit to take him into hand.

Chapter 9: Second Chances
Chapter 10: I Can Kiss You da?
Chapter 11: What! Aniki has a Boyfriend?
Chapter 12: Ivan Gets Some Love Advice

Disclaimer: The following story is a derivative work of APH and shares no relation to actual countries, political ideologies, history or events. Characters are copyright to Hidekaz Himaruya, but the storyline and writing are copyright to me. You may share the link to my blog or blog post, but you may not repost my writings without my permission.

Chapter 9: Second Chances

Yao always believed in second chances. That was why Ivan was wiping calligraphic brushes in the Calligraphy room while Yao sat in the room's back office, pondering how best to approach the oppressor about his aggressive behaviour towards his peers.

After all, it had been Yao who single-handedly brought his cousin Honda Kiku back into the light when the latter was at his rebellious age, often skipping school to play computer games. Thanks to his patience and care, Kiku was now one of the most well-disciplined and best-performing students in the third year. His other cousin Im Yong Soo was still ill-disciplined by Asian standards, but hey, at least he only claimed breasts and not vital regions like some other perverse European students that he had heard about.

Determined to help Ivan by using his inborn talent for nurturing, Yao pored over a gigantic ring file labeled 'Ivan Braginski Detention Records' and read through the entries documenting the Russian's wayward conduct since the beginning of the school year.

1 April 2010
Offence: Bit Francis Bonnefoy at Freshman Induction Ceremony
Detention by: Arthur Kirkland
Remarks: Write lines 'I am not a dog and will not bite people again'. Detention cut short due to power shortage.

Yao did a double take. As memories of the incident came flooding back, he recalled Ivan as the boy who had retaliated when Francis acted in a lewd manner towards him. Ivan had seemed to be such a decent and sweet boy back then when he had spent time with him in the school clinic. Now, within a mere period of three months, Ivan had become every bit a pervert like Francis. This school was clearly going to the dogs. Sighing and shaking his head, Yao read on.

3 April 2010
Offence: Assaulted Toris Lorinaitis for no apparent reason
Detention by: Arthur Kirkland
Remarks: Clean the tea room. Detention cut short after Arthur Kirkland was hospitalized for food poisoning.

8 April 2010
Offence: Strangled Toris Lorinaitis for touching his scarf by mistake
Detention by: Professor Roma
Remarks: Lecture cut short after Prof. R was attacked by sudden acute pains in all his scars.

13 April 2010
Offence: Assaulted Eduard von Bock for no apparent reason
Detention by: Arthur Kirkland
Remarks: Detention canceled after Arthur Kirkland started hyperventilating for God knows why.

17 April 2010
Offence: Added undiluted Vodka to Ludwig's wurst.
Detention by: Francis Bonnefoy
Remarks: Write lines 'I am not Arthur Kirkland and will not poison people with unedible food'. Detention ended early. No reason needed.

19 April 2010
Offence: Assaulted Toris Lorinaitis for no apparent reason
Detention by: Arthur Kirkland
Remarks: Water pipe confiscated by Arthur Kirkland. Screw you, wine freak! By the way, it's 'inedible', not 'unedible'. Pass your English mid-terms before you laugh at me, bastard!

19 April 2010
Offence: Arthur Kirkland fell down 6 flights of stairs and sprained his ankle.
Detention by: -
Remarks: No concrete proof that Ivan Braginski was behind this, but Minty sees it all.

20 April 2010
Offence: Fought with Feliks Łukasiewicz over Toris Lorinaitis' assault
Detention by: Sir Germania
Remarks: Lecture cut short after Sir G fainted from heat stroke. At 15 degree celsius. Go figure.

22 April 2010
Offence: Assaulted Gilbert Beilschmidt for no apparent reason
Detention by: Francis Bonnefoy
Remarks: Detention ended early. No reason needed. A pleasure, mon chéri~ I dropped English for Home Economics. It's so much more useful. I think you will agree~

25 April 2010
Offence: Assaulted Toris Lorinaitis for no apparent reason
Detention by: Francis Bonnefoy
Remarks: Detention ended early. No reason needed.

27 April 2010
Offence: Demanded for the return of his water pipe
Detention by: -
Remarks: Arthur Kirkland's ankle recovered after returning Ivan Braginski's water pipe. There is definitely something fishy about this. Minty agrees with me.

28 April 2010
Offence: Suspected of dabbling with devil's magic
Detention by: -
Remarks: Minty heard Ivan Braginski mutter about cursing Arthur Kirkland. Something needs to be done!

29 April 2010
Offence: -
Detention by: -
Remarks: Arthur mon chéri, this is not your personal scriptwriting notebook. Stop writing meaningless entries. Also, imaginary friends do not count as evidence.

30 April 2010
Offence: -
Detention by: -
Remarks: Look who's talking, wine bastard. Minty EXISTS.

2 May 2010
Offence: Assaulted Toris Lorinaitis for no apparent reason.
Detention by: Francis Bonnefoy
Remarks: Detention ended early. No reason needed. Minty exists in your head. Go get it checked.

5 May 2010
Offence: Assaulted Raivis Galante for no apparent reason.
Detention by: -
Remarks: You're the one who needs your head checked! You coward! Early my foot! You didn't administer the detentions at all.

8 May 2010
Offence: Assaulted Toris Lorinaitis for no apparent reason
Detention by: Francis Bonnefoy
Remarks: Detention ended early. No reason needed. HAHA what happened to the detention on 5th May?

Rolling his eyes as he scoured through numerous entries of Arthur and Francis abusing the file as a chat room, Yao eventually gave up. He had gotten the gist that Ivan liked using his school mates, especially the one called Toris Lorinaitis, as punching bags and essentially had not been put through a proper detention or counseling session. That was why he, Wang Yao, the big brother of the Asian cohort, was going to fix this and prove to the Europeans that they were the sissy ones, he thought triumphantly.

He flipped to the last page to create a new entry, and was surprised that someone had already done so.

1 July 2010
Offence: Indulged in passionate foreplay with Wang Yao in student dormitory corridor.
Detention by: Wang Yao
Remarks: Ma jolie, even if your heart stops beating, mine will beat for you forever and ever ~Au revoir, nii-san
If you must die, please choose somewhere away from the European quarter.
Have you drawn up your will? Call my cell. I can recommend you some lawyers ~heroically yours, Alfred

"Aiya! Who the heck wrote this aru! Must be that idiot Francis," Yao cursed as he hurriedly grabbed a white-out and replaced the offending text with "Assaulted Wang Yao in student dormitory corridor." Yes, that sounded a lot more decent. Hmmph, these guys had such a poor opinion on him, did they? He would prove them wrong.

A soft knock on the door told him that his charge had finished the chores he had delegated to him.

"Come in!"

"I'm done~" Ivan said cheerfully as his large frame entered the room.

Pointing to the chair opposite his own, Yao said, "Take a seat aru. Let's have a chat."

"Da!" the Russian practically bounded over.

He would show them. Yes he would. And if Ivan tried anything funny, he could always protect himself with Ivan's gigantic detention records file. It was about the same weight as his trusty Chinese wok, possibly even heavier. Nothing could go wrong.

Could it?

Warning: Explicit description of M/M kissing

Chapter 10: I Can Kiss You da?

Yao was pleasantly surprised by how much the calligraphy room had changed for the better, post-Ivan treatment. He had not expected much of an improvement, as most students were not good with chores or they would not have left their mess behind in the first place. The main purpose of detention was to deprive students of fun and freedom while giving them an opportunity, hopefully, to dwell on their mistakes when they were bored to tears. One glance through the door as the Russian shuffled into his chair revealed that the room had never looked this neat and lovely before. Ivan had even taken the liberty to place a vase of sunflowers in the middle, brightening up the small room considerably.

"Well done aru!" Yao nodded approvingly.

"You can count on me for anything da!" Ivan smiled, fluttering his long eyelashes happily at the praise. Violet eyes sparkled with child-like innocence. It had been a long time since anyone had complimented him like this.

Aiyaaaa... sooooo cuuute... aru!

Fireworks burst inside Yao's mind as memories of Ivan's wolfish behaviour from yesterday evaporated completely. With Ivan being so adorably obedient, this detention was going to be a cinch! Those Westerners always made mountains out of molehills!

"Um... I've been longing to ask you this," Ivan said shyly. "Do you remember me? You took care of me at the school clinic on my first day at school da." He looked at Yao hopefully.

"Yes aru, I remember you," Yao nodded.

"I'm so happy~! I knew you would remember me," Ivan smiled blissfully as faint pink blushes appeared on his cheeks. Yao had a sudden urge to hug him, but he managed to restrain himself.

"We may know each other, but that doesn't mean I'll let you get away with poor conduct aru," Yao said, putting on his sternest face while racking his brains to remember why on earth he had assigned detention to this harmless lovable giant teddy bear. The problem with having so many important responsibilities on top of being a Masters student and everyone's big brother was that one's brain tended to be saturated most of the time, causing memories at the top layer to come and go.

"I'm sorry for kissing you yesterday! You will forgive me da?" Ivan burst out whining, putting on his most winsome puppy eyes. It always worked on people he first met, before they somehow got immune to them after being hit by his water pipe too many times. Perhaps it would work on Yao.

Oh, that. Yao's nightmarish memory came back in full force.

"Only if you realize your mistake and stop doing it," Yao said severely as he began re-arming all invisible defenses previously stripped by Ivan's cute attack.

"Yes I've learnt my mistake and I won't do it again," Ivan nodded fervently.

"But you do realize why it's a mistake, don't you?" Yao asked doubtfully.

"Yes I do! It's sexual harassment to kiss someone without permission da?"

"Yes," Yao said, surprised and glad that Ivan had gotten the point so well without needing a lecture.

"So if I ask for permission, it's not sexual harassment da?"

"I suppose so aru," Yao could not think of a reason otherwise.

"Then, I can kiss you da?" Without warning, Ivan had launched himself forward and placed both his hands on the arms of Yao's chair, effectively trapping Yao between the chair and himself.

"What!" cried Yao, stunned as Ivan's face closed in on his own. Apparently, Ivan had not gotten the point at all.

"Can I? Can I?" Ivan's eyes shone with anticipation. Yao could not help thinking that if Ivan had a tail, it would be wagging furiously now.

All it took was a mere millisecond of hesitation. Mistaking Yao's very brief stunned silence for consent, Ivan pulled Yao into a back-breaking hug and sealed the deal with a searing smooch.

Once again, Yao found himself fighting for air as Ivan continued to kiss him possessively, his long tongue grazing the insides of Yao's small mouth. Yao pummeled and clawed at the Russian's broad back. He kicked out with his feet. But he might as well have been attacking a rock. Ivan, taking great delight in his afternoon meal, paid no attention to the little jabs of pain caused by his struggling prey. He had been tormented by so many sleepless nights. It was time he got some compensation in return.

Why does this idiot have an unlimited air supply, while I'm drowning in his saliva...

Drowning... that's it... maybe if I stop struggling, he will release his hold, and then I can...

To his great relief, Ivan found his advances readily accepted as Yao ceased his weak yet interfering assault. Letting down his guard, Ivan loosened his grip on the other man's lips. Predatory urgency gave way to passionate desire as his tongue slowed down to explore his subject of affection lovingly.

Ivan slid his fingers into Yao's hair and stroked the soft smooth strands slowly. It was something Yekaterina used to do to console him whenever he came home crying from being bullied in school. Soothed by the tender gesture, Yao found himself sliding his tongue inside Ivan's mouth with willing reciprocation. The larger man's lips were surprisingly soft and warm.

Encouraged by Yao's submission, Ivan's encroachment grew lustier. He slid a slightly sweaty hand under Yao's shirt and began caressing Yao's smooth chest.

A moan escaped Yao's throat. He practically choked upon hearing the shameless sound. He was aroused. And announcing it. Shocked at the revelation, Yao jerked his leg up and kneed Ivan hard. Where it hurts most.

"Ow!" Ivan keeled over on the floor, covering his vital regions with his hands.

"You're incorrigible aru!" Yao shouted as he tugged his shirt back into place, his face a flaming red at the shame of his own subconscious mind yielding to such a disgraceful act.

"I give up aru! I don't care anymore!" Yao stormed towards the door, kicking his chair hard to vent his anger such that it flew to the end of the room. But Ivan stretched out a hand and gripped his ankle in a vice-like grip, stopping him in his tracks. Yao tried stepping on it to make it go away, but said hand was incredibly thick-skinned and stubborn.

"I... I love you! I've wanted to be with you ever since I met you on my first day in school! Please don't leave me!" Ivan groaned.

At the shocking confession, Yao stopped trying to step on Ivan's hand.

"This is the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard aru. And I grew up with Yong Soo," Yao shook his head ruefully.

Ivan sat bolt upright. "How is it nonsensical?" he demanded, stung that his beloved thought so poorly of his love.

"We've only met briefly, and since yesterday, all you've done is antagonize me," Yao berated. He was no stranger to ridiculous love letters and confessions, but at least none of his admirers had violated him in such a vulgar manner.

"That can't be! I know you like me da! You make me feel loved. I have never felt this way in my life," Ivan's eyes went spacey as he thought of all the attention Yao had lavished on him thus far, and of course, the two romantic (in his opinion) kisses they shared over a mere period of two days.

"You are mistaken aru. If this is the only so-called love you have experienced, then your life is very sad aru. Now let me go or I will really step on your hand!" Yao said as he shook his foot vigorously to get rid of the obstinate hand.

"My life is indeed very sad da. Even my parents hate me," Ivan looked up sorrowfully at Yao, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Rubbish! No parent would hate their children!" Yao exclaimed, shocked at such an extreme proclamation.

"When I was younger," Ivan said mournfully, "Papa would get drunk on vodka and beat up me, Yekatarina and Natalia. Now Yekatarina cries all the time and Natalia is always trying to stab someone. I try to be nice to everyone, but..." Ivan let out a loud sniff.

"Oh dear," Yao pursed his lips as he knelt down in front of Ivan. "What about your mother?"

"Ever since Papa was jailed for child abuse, Mama took Yekaterina and Natalia to live in Ukraine. They didn't take me because they think boys should be independent. I have been in a boarding school since high school," Ivan let out a strangled sob and buried his face in his palms.

"You poor thing!" Yao cried, enveloping Ivan in his arms. "It's all right, you can cry in front of me. Don't bottle it all up."

Yao held Ivan quietly, occasionally rubbing the Russian's back comfortingly as he sobbed into his shoulder. Poor, poor Ivan. No wonder he had such a violent streak. This was no regular bullying problem that could be curbed with detentions and lectures. Yao wondered what he could do to help him.

"That's why I love Yao~ Because Yao is nicest to me~" Ivan stole another kiss from Yao's lips while he was in deep thought.

"Aiya! Stop this indecency already aru! And don't call me Yao! That's only for family and friends!" Yao snapped as he stood up quickly before Ivan could molest him further.

"I thought you cared for me," fresh tears streaked down Ivan's cheeks.

"Aiya I do! But not in that way! To me, you're a junior whom I'll try my best to guide and help. That is all aru. It's simply impossible to love someone I've briefly met," Yao said firmly.

"Don't you believe in love at first sight? I sure do," Ivan pouted.

"No, I don't," Yao replied firmly. "And love cannot be compelled aru, so whether you believe in it or not, it doesn't make a difference to me."

"What if I woo you and make you fall in love with me willingly?" Ivan asked hopefully.

Yao raised his eyebrows. That was a really tall order, considering that thus far, Ivan had done nothing except make his blood boil. Besides, he seriously doubted that Ivan understood what true love was.

Tears started dancing in Ivan's violet eyes again.

"Aiya do as you wish! But don't you dare come crying to me if I don't reciprocate aru!" Yao said wearily.

I won't... because I'll make you love me. By hook or by crook. Kolkolkolkol...

"So I can call you Yao da?"

Chapter 11: What! Aniki has a Boyfriend?

It was dinner time for many students in Hetalia Gakuen. Most students usually ate in the cafeteria of their quarters, but some would occasionally cook personally, using the shared kitchen in the dormitory building.

One such student was Yao, who was making har gau for dinner as promised to Xiang. Yao was a very good cook, but today, he had made the dough wrapper thinner and flimsier than he should, and even then, was still mercilessly flattening all the flour out of it with a rolling pin.

"How oh how could I have let the afternoon's incident happen?" Yao thought furiously.

Ivan Braginski was merely a horny disillusioned teenager and probably acted like what many a horny disillusioned teenager did. But he, Wang Yao, was a mature adult. Yet he had not only let himself get seduced by said horny teenager but had also openly admitted his submission. He would never live it down if people got wind of this embarrassing incident.

Then there was also the issue of Ivan's dysfunctional family and violent tendencies. Ivan was indeed very pitiful, but that did not make his bullying any more justifiable. He needed to help Ivan as soon as possible, for Ivan's own sake as well as for the people around him. How he was going to do this, he did not yet have an answer. It was going to be trying, what with the lusty idiot trying to paw him every second he could. It had taken Yao about half an hour to chase Ivan out of the Asian building with the heavy detention records file. In parting, the Russian had stolen another smooch from his lips, right in front of the entire group of students trooping out from Martial Arts class, Xiang included no less.


Yao punctuated each word with a thump on the poor dough wrapper, which was now so thin that the wooden chopping board could almost be seen through it.

Yes, if the idiotic American had not called for a meeting during a power failure, he would not have to be summoned to the European dormitory by that crybaby Feliciano Vargas only to land himself in this bizarre European muddle which should never have been his concern in the first place.

"Aniki! Your breasts are mine!"

In his angry stupor, Yao had neglected to see his Korean cousin from the sophomore year come bounding into the kitchen. Before he could react, two all too familiar arms enveloped him from behind, while two all too familiar hands groped the front of his chest for his non-existent breasts.

"Get lost, Yong Soo! Or I'll hit you with this rolling pin aru!" Yao brandished his weapon threateningly.

"I know Aniki would never bear to hit me da-ze~" Yong Soo happily rested his chin on Yao's shoulder.

"Yao-nii can't cook if you heckle him like this, Yong Soo," Kiku chided. He had followed Yong Soo into the kitchen, albeit in a much more distinguished manner.

"Don't worry, Kiku-hyung! Your turn will come next!" Yong Soo chirped merrily.

"That's it aru!" Yao swung his rolling pin in a backward movement.

A dull thud issued as wood and skull connected.

"Not fair, Aniki! The rolling pin attack originated from Korea da-ze!"

*     *     *

Dinner together for Yao and his beloved family members was usually a cheerful affair, but today, the ambiance was rather unusual as they sat around a small table in the dormitory room that Kiku and Yong Soo shared, eating har gau with noodles.

Xiang heaved a sigh as another har gau promptly disintegrated when he tried to lift it up with his chopsticks.

Kiku, who knew how to read the atmosphere in the room all too well, chose to keep quiet as he used a spoon to scoop up a broken har gau.

Only the obtuse Yong Soo had the nerve to say, "Aniki! This is not har gau! I know because har gau originated from Korea da-ze~!"

"Shut up aru! This is har gau! The skin is just a little too soft, so the fillings spill out. It is still very good har gau aru!"

"Da Ge, I think you overcooked the shrimp," Xiang said, his voice revealing a slight irritation. He had had a grueling session of martial arts and was really looking forward to a nice dinner.

"So?" Yao's eyes glinted maliciously as he put down his chopsticks.

"So it's nicer to eat than usual," Kiku replied, stepping hard on Xiang's foot.

"What! Have you lost your taste buds? This is the worst har gau I've ever eaten in my life da-ze!" Yong Soo cried.

"Then don't eat it!" Yao slammed his hands hard on the table, causing his chopsticks to leap right off the table.

Yong Soo went red and mumbled something about not meaning to offend. An awkward silence reigned for several minutes as Yao glared at a withering Yong Soo, spewing virtual flames of fury. Kiku and Xiang eyed each other anxiously, wondering what sort of demon had possessed their lovely, talented, sweet-tempered big brother to not only erupt like Mount Eyjafjallajökull but cook like an English man.

Eventually, Xiang ventured tentatively, "Da Ge, are you having problems with your boyfriend?"

Three bewildered faces stared back at Xiang's serene one.

"Well," Xiang explained, "I saw you hitting him the whole time even after he kissed you, so I assume..."

"What! Aniki has a boyfriend? Since when? Who is it? Nobody told me anything!" Yong Soo grabbed Yao's shoulders and shook hard.

"It's this really huge Caucasian guy who's one head taller than Da Ge and about twice as wide, probably Russian by the looks of his nose..."

"Wow! Yao-nii likes big guys! I never knew that! In fact, I didn't even know you like guys," Kiku gasped.

"Aiyaaaa! I do not have a boyfriend, you idiots!" Yao smacked Yong Soo's forehead, making him release his hands from his shoulders.

"But my entire class saw you..."

Xiang clammed up upon seeing Yao's murderous glare.

"I... I'm just upset because some kids don't even get to experience the joy of having their loved ones cook for them. I just think that you should be grateful for what you have instead of complaining about this and that aru..." Yao's voice wobbled.

Poor, poor Ivan. Yao's heart ached at the thought of a young Ivan being sent off to a foreign boarding school all by his lonesome. How many years had he not eaten home-cooked food? No child deserved such treatment from his parents, especially such a sweet and adorable, albeit perverted, boy. Ivan had essentially nothing to do with him, but now that he knew what Ivan's problem was, it seemed that Ivan's fate rested on his shoulders. After all, even the Dean and the professors seemed to have written him off as a lost cause. If Yao did not help him, who would? Yes, he, Wang Yao, everyone's big brother, would rescue Ivan from his darkness, no matter how difficult it would be.

"Ehhh... Aniki, are you actually crying?" Yong Soo flapped his hands in panic as a tear rolled down Yao's cheek.

"I'm sorry Da Ge! I'll eat everything!" Xiang grabbed the plate of shrimp dumplings and started wolfing down its contents at top speed.

"Hey don't eat that all by yourself da-ze~! Leave some for me!"

"Ano... it's rude to eat right off the plate..."

"Silly boys, don't eat so fast! You'll get hiccups!" Yao said reproachfully, but a smile replaced the melancholy on his face. Some day, he hoped Ivan would enjoy the same sort of family warmth as he did.

Chapter 12: Ivan Gets Some Love Advice

"Ivan Braginski!"

Feliks Łukasiewicz stood in the middle of the student dormitory corridor, arms akimbo, glaring at the Russian who was making his way back to his own dormitory room. Toris skulked behind Feliks, looking terrified.

"So, you finally have the guts to show your big nose!" Feliks marched towards Ivan and jabbed him hard in his chest with a finger.

"Don't, Feliks!" Toris squeaked as he grabbed Feliks' hand and shoved it downwards.

"So like, how dare you crack my poor Liet-chan's head with your rotten water pipe, tie him up and leave him for dead? Why, my poor Liet-chan would have like died from starvation if I hadn't like had the sense to go looking in Eduard's room to find him like all trussed up and gagged like a turkey! You have some nerve!" Feliks raised his other free hand to continue assaulting Ivan's chest.

"Give it a rest, Feliks!" Toris pleaded.

"Da~! I forgot I left you three behind before I went for detention today~ How fortunate that Feliks rescued you da~ Kolkolkolkol~"

"Oh no, we were very comfortable actually and didn't need rescuing at all, Ivan! Feliks just likes exaggerating. Come on Feliks, let's go..." Toris tried to pull Feliks away. Feliks was however, tougher and more headstrong than his feminine looks suggested.

"Listen up! Nobody like, you know, bullies my man and gets away with it! I hereby challenge you to a fight! If I kick your ass, which I so totally will, you will leave my Liet-chan alone from now on, do you hear me?"

"Feliks! I have a stomachache! Won't you get me some medicine?" Toris cried in a desperate attempt to stop Feliks from playing with fire.

"So, like go see the doctor, duh! I'm not your first aid kit!" Feliks retorted.

Ivan contemplated Feliks' proposal. It seemed like an attractive option to respond to his challenge. After all, Ivan had a hundred percent victory record against the Pole, and with luck, he would wind up with another round of detention with Yao. But at the moment, there were more pressing issues at hand.

"Say, Feliks, you and Toris are in love with each other da?"

"Duh! We're like totally head over heels in love with each other! We've even like slept..."

Toris clamped his hand over Feliks' mouth. "That's right, Ivan," he confirmed with a red face.

"Can you tell me how I can make this person I fell in love with love me back?" Ivan asked eagerly.

Feliks stopped poking Ivan's chest. "What? Did I like hear you right? You, Ivan Braginski, in love? So like, who's this unlucky person?"

Toris elbowed Feliks in the rib. "Is it Wang Yao?"

Ivan nodded.

"That's ridi... I mean, amazing! Are you sure you're in love and not in lust?" Toris exclaimed. He knew Ivan was obsessed with Yao, but he did not think that aggressive, mean and unsympathetic Ivan knew anything about being in love.

Toris immediately regretted voicing his doubts when Ivan responded tearfully with his water pipe held high, "Why does everyone doubt my love?"

"Woah! Put that down! I believe you! Really I do!" Toris said frantically. Thankfully, Ivan decided to let the matter rest and stowed the water pipe back inside his coat.

"Wang Yao... That's like the Chinese dude with the long hair who like totally looks like a chick right?" Feliks mused.

Toris snorted. How rich of Feliks to say that when he himself not only looked feminine, but spoke like a girl and dressed like one.

"Da~! That's the one! He's cute, isn't he?" Ivan beamed proudly.

"A bit on the short side, but not bad-looking I suppose," Feliks scratched his chin thoughtfully. "But he's like a student councilor right? So like what chance would a delinquent like you ever have with him?"

"Feliks!" Toris was on the verge of tears.

"You really think so? Kolkolkolkol~" Out came the water pipe again.

"Like, duh! This is like total common sense right? He's like enforcing the school rules, and you're like totally making his life difficult by breaking them! Why, I'd like totally hate you if I were him!" Feliks declared bluntly.

"You really think so?" Ivan's face fell. No 'Kolkolkolkol' this time, Toris, noted, relieved.

"Duh! Every hour of detention you spend with him is like one hour of his free time gone. Every hour of detention with him that you weasel out of is like one black mark on his record. You know what? You should like totally stop using your water pipe on my Liet-chan or anyone else for that matter. If you quit acting like the biggest jerk evar, maybe you will like, you know, actually stand a chance to win his heart."

"Feliks' words are very true! Do take his advice," Toris nodded fervently. Perhaps the opportunity of a lifetime to free himself from Ivan's tyranny had finally presented itself!

"I know right? I'm like the Biggest. Genius. Evar!" Feliks gushed.

Ivan looked down at his precious water pipe. Was it really so abominable? He did not quite understand what Feliks meant by him acting like the 'biggest jerk evar', but if keeping the water pipe away meant that his darling Yao would have an easier time and like him more for it, then he would do it without question.

"Thank you Feliks and Toris for the advice!" Ivan smiled sincerely.

"A pleasure!" Toris grinned. For once, a confrontation with Ivan did not meet with a bloody end. He would thank Feliks with that fifty-thousand yen designer school girl outfit from Akihabara later.

"And Feliks, your chest massage was very comfortable~ So here's my reward for you~"

Smacking Toris hard on the chest with his water pipe, Ivan walked away whistling, leaving a furious Feliks freaking out over a hyperventilating Toris.

On to next chapter...

Topic : Axis Powers Hetalia
Genre : Anime/Manga

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Sticky (R18, Complete)

Sex and the Forbidden City (R18, Complete)

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Goodbye Kitty, Hello Vantty (PG, Complete)




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